Upgraded Writing

Our writing challenge this week was to turn a simple passage into descriptive piece of writing using the following criteria. We worked with a buddy to create our masterpiece.

1. There  was a little pond .

2. It was a hot day.

3. Along came a frog.

4. The frog hopped onto a Lily pad.

5. He fell asleep.

6. A heron was flying by.

7. He spotted the frog.

8. The bird dived down.

9. The sound woke the frog.

10. He moved out of the way.

11. The heron fell into the pond.

12. A pike was swimming by.

13 The fish opened her mouth

14. She swallowed the bird.

15. On the riverbank was a fisherman.

16. In his hand was a fishing rod.

Criteria:UP  LEVELLING  IS  TRYING TO IMPROVE A SIMPLE PIECE OF WRITING BY USING LOTS OF DIFFERENT METHODS  - ADJECTIVES -ADVERBS -DESCRIPTIVE PHRASES - SIMILIES – METAPHORS - PERSONIFICATION  - CONNECTIVES - CONJUNCTIONS - SENTENCE OPENERS - WIDE RANGE OF INTERESTING VOCABULARY …

The Sparkling Aqua Blue Pond

Down at the bottom of the luscious flowering garden, there was a sparkling aqua blue pond. The sun was blazing hot and the sky was a magnificent turquoise colour. The flowers were blooming in the midday sun.

Along came a bright, orange frog, who was incredibly obese. He was looking for a Sparkling Aqua blue pond. He spotted the best pond that he could ever possibly find and sprung onto the dusty bank of the pond. He plunged into the depths below, the shadows, full of mystery. He uncovered a beautiful green lily pad and sprung onto it. Like a cheetah hunting its prey. Once he had found the most comfortable and the most sensational spot on the whole lily pad, he fell into the most relaxed sleep he had ever had.

Suddenly there was a noise whizzing past his ear. “WHIZZ!” The sound was a fantastic marble coloured Heron swooping past his ear. One metre wing span soaring through the air gracefully like a swan. The Heron spotted the bright orange frog. The frog was still in the most relaxed sleep. The wonderful bird swooped down past the frog another time, just missing by an inch. The frog woke up with a start this time, and dived into the water amongst the murky green weeds. Gone. Living a life in the underworld. Never seen again. The heron accidentally dived too far down and flew straight into the water with a marvelous splash. All the frog could see was a struggling bird, then silence.

A beautiful, sleek pike swam by and spotted the heron in the water. Flapping with great annoyance, the heron could not fly, his marble coloured wing was broken. The pike swam towards the heron with great speed, mouth open. Crunch! The pike swallowed the bird whole.

On the edge of the pond was a crippled old man. Broad in the shoulders with a cold and unfeeling talk. Holding his glistening blue fishing rod, witnessing the whole thing happening. GOBSMACKED!!!

By Jaden and Thomas